« I'm waiting | Main | A Congressman Speaks his Mind »

August 16, 2004

Happy Birthday, Fidel (Thanks a lot, Yankees)

Fidel Castro celebrates his 78th birthday at some point this week.

And to think the Yankees coulda signed this guy to pitch for 'em back in the '50's. Las Vegas wouldn't exist because Havana would be the old Vegas. JFK woulda served two terms, thus making Johnson a footnote in history along with Nixon. The Expos woulda never existed because the team would be in Havana. Maybe Santiago would have a team, too.

Great cigars would still annoy the fuck out of me when jackasses insist on smoking the rotten filthy things. Fruit would be cheaper. Obesity would not be as much of a problem because sugar cane would be cheaper therefore making the usage of high-fructose corn syrup a non-starter. Less obesity would mean cheaper health-care and cheaper meat due to the lack of Atkins idiots.

As with everything else, the New York Yankees are to blame for the problems of the U.S.A.


Full disclosure: Whether or not Castro ever tried out with a US baseball team or was even scouted by one is controversial. Snopes says no, but I remember hearing this story over 20 years ago, so it's been around longer than email forwarding and Compuserve. I prefer to think it coulda happened.

Posted by Half-Cocked at August 16, 2004 11:04 PM

Comments

That's hilarious, and I'm very happy to learn of yet another long list of sins I can pin on the Yanks.

Posted by: J at August 17, 2004 02:48 AM

on the other hand we would have missed Pacino's performance in 'Scarface'

Posted by: Anti at August 18, 2004 08:24 PM

I always thought he tried out for the Washington Senators.

Hmm...

Posted by: Soup at August 19, 2004 03:08 PM