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June 28, 2005
Fruitcake is like Imperial Stout or IPA
Back in the day when Britain had a worldwide empire and shipped beer all over the world in tall, wooden ships, a couple of different methods were used for preserving that beer over the long journey. India Pale Ale to this day is so hoppy because before shipping pale ale to India, extra hops were added as a preservative. Imperial Stout (named as such because it was brewed for the Russian Imperial Court), likewise, was brewed with transport in mind, except instead of hops the brewers just upped the alcohol content, producing what Jack Jackson calls "a boozy mess."
Fruitcakes are the same way. E. Spatch just got a fruitcake in the mail courtesy of her grandpa. It was mailed on 12/23/2004. I guess her grandpa didn't know that you need to mail a fruitcake in May for Christmas delivery since part of the fruitcake aging process is a protracted transport.
There's a big warehouse in Terre Haute, IN, where all the fruitcakes are stowed for 5 months upon receipt by the post office or other shipping services provider. It's called the Fruitcake Clearinghouse and is right next to the Terre Haute Public Library, which was finally rebuilt.
E. Spatch needn't worry. That fruitcake will still be as fresh as the day it was crapped out of the fruitcake machine even 10 years from now.
*A very collectible Notes from the (Legal) Underground mug to the first person who catches the movie reference in this post, assuming I ever acquire one of those sweet mugs.
Posted by Half-Cocked at June 28, 2005 08:39 PM
Comments
I want a mug for my pain and suffering in having to endure a fruitcake in the middle of freaking summer in D.C. when it is approximately as hot as the sun times ten thousand outside. It is a totally sweet collector tin though with the Marlboro Man portraying Jesus Christ.
Posted by: energy spatula at June 28, 2005 09:07 PM