« Shining, Gleaming, Streaming, Flaxen, Waxen | Main | Hair, Part II »

The Glass Is Half Full or The Funny Side of Cancer

I know, I know. It’s not really funny. But actually, when you’re in the middle of it, it can be. At least there are some humorous moments. So to counter the serious nature of this blog so far, here are some of the things that I have found funny.

(Pssst…Mom! You can skip the next couple of paragraphs if you want to!)

********************************
I keep hearing stories about women who have gone through chemotherapy and lost their hair, only to end up with heads full of thick, gorgeous, curly, to-die-for hair when it grows back in.

Additionally, I have read quite a bit about the wonders of reconstructive surgery for women who have mastectomies. If I do end up having a mastectomy, I am quite sure I would follow it up with reconstructive surgery.

In thinking about these possible end results of cancer, I mentioned to Randy that it might not be all bad….I might end up with great hair and the breasts of my dreams. Randy, always thinking about the bottom line, asked me if I would consider the breasts of his dreams. I reminded him that the breasts of my dreams and the breasts of his dreams were quite certainly very different breasts. I also let him know that the breasts of his dreams are probably going to have to remain in his dreams.

********************************

I’ve also been thinking about the fact that my chemotherapy treatment might be coming at a perfect time to help with my Halloween costume. If we are lucky enough to be invited to a costume party this year, I may be able to go as Telly Savalas. A lollypop, a pinky ring and a nose prosthesis, along with my lack of hair, should complete the look perfectly.

********************************

Dealing with cancer treatments each day has brought new discoveries about my abilities as well my limitations. Between the lumpectomy and the lymph node surgery, I ended up with fairly limited use of my left arm. It is getting better each day and I expect to fully recover, of course, but for awhile I found that I couldn’t do everything exactly like I could before the surgery. For example, soon after my lymph node surgery I decided to attempt my regular exercise routine. The walking was no problem, but I knew that my light weight lifting was going to be difficult and painful with my left arm. (And indeed, I was under doctor’s orders not to use it to lift things for awhile after surgery.) I decided that I would attempt a modification of my normal routine using only my right arm. This was easy enough to do until I came to the push-ups. But always up for a challenge, I thought I would give one-armed push-ups a try. As I began to push myself up from the floor using only my right arm, I quickly realized that there was no way that I was ever going to be able to do a one-armed push-up. I’ve scrapped the push-ups until both arms are available to keep me from landing on my face on the floor.

**********************************

I have found myself telling all the medical professionals that I come into contact with that I am a law student. I’m pretty sure that subconsciously I think that if they know I am a law student, they will be much more cautious with my treatment for fear of potential lawsuits later. It doesn’t seem to be working out quite the way I want it to, however; no one really seems to be too terribly worried about my ability to sue them for anything.

*********************************

A couple of weeks ago I bought one of these t-shirts. It’s a humorous way to advertise breast cancer awareness and I have enjoyed wearing it. The first time I wore it was to the grocery on a recent Saturday morning. I got some interesting looks from fellow shoppers, but the best reaction was from a store employee in the baking aisle.

After we had passed one another heading in opposite directions, I heard him call out from behind me. He said, “Save the what?” I sighed as I turned around, not relishing having to explain the meaning of the word “ta-tas.” I smiled at the gentleman and said, “Save the ta-tas,” hoping that would be enough to clarify things for him. He, in turn, enthusiastically pumped his fist in the air and said, “Finally! A cause I can really get behind!” Both of us started laughing uproariously as we continued on our respective ways down the aisle.

Comments

What a sweet post. :)

Two things:
1.) I'm guessing that the breasts of Randy's dreams would make you so top heavy you'd be toppling over! Men can be adorably predictable sometimes.

2.) I'm having some surgery at the end of the month (nothing major, but I'm not really looking forward to it either) and my husband said that right before I go in, I have to tell them that my husband is an attorney so that they are more careful with me. Apparently great minds think alike? :)

I love the positive post! It may be short-lived today, but that sense of humor will get you through all of this! It will shine through when you least expect it. I've told you about often crying alone, but there were as many times that I would sit alone and laugh so hard at the ridiculousness of the situation. Keep that up! It's healthy.

I ended up with 1 and 3/4 breasts, and you know what, John never seemed to care. The thing about men is, in reality, they aren't picky at all!

Kim,

I understand exactly how you feel especially about the hair. It is a terrible feeling and I was so self conscience of what other people were thinking. I tried the wig route, I bought 3 wigs, my insurance covered them. I wore them probably for a month. I wore one to work with A headband over it so it would look more "real." I finally gave up on the wigs and went with scarves, handkerchiefs, etc. When I started to touch my hair and it came out in my fingers, I knew it was time to cut it very very short. I think I sent you the picture. Then I shaved it after the 2nd treatment of A/C Russ loved it. It was like G.I Jane. I'm so glad to hear that your cancer is staged at 1. Me too. I had 4 treatments of a/c and then I thought I was done until my genetic testing came back inconclusive. I of course thought since it was inconclusive that meant that I was done with Chemo. I cried so hard when I was told I had to do taxol as well. Abbey and Gage are here now and they are not being "nice" so I have to go. I love reading your updates! CAll me anytime.

Love,

Jenny

Love the grocery store comment! Nothing like calling attention to the issue. Classic.