Uno!
As difficult as it was to go to chemo today, I went. And it was difficult. Sherry made the perfect analogy in her comment on this post. She said that at the second to last appointment it's like being a marathon runner who sees the finish line but is running on pure spirit. It was hard to keep running today. But I did and now it’s over. I just have to make it through the next few days and I can officially celebrate having only one more treatment.
I took a movie to watch again this week (The Queen), but it was relatively short so I also got some chatting in. The room was full today, and I was lucky enough to sit between two women who wanted to talk as well.
The woman to my right was Jen. (I got permission to use her real name.) She is my age (a few months younger than me, actually) and was also a breast cancer patient. She had Stage II cancer with no lymph node involvement, but she had two tumors in one breast. The second tumor was discovered by an on-the-ball ultrasound technician who looked at her whole breast on a hunch and not just at the original tumor. She was on her second Taxotere treatment today.
Jen and I started out talking about my scarf because she is just starting to lose her shoulder length blond hair. She seemed much less angst-ridden about the whole thing than I felt when I was losing mine. Jen was delightful to talk to…very upbeat and positive. At the beginning of our conversation I was receiving Benadryl, and at one point I warned her that I might fall asleep in the middle of a sentence—hers or mine—because of it. Jen told me that she was also receiving Benadryl and that she too was worried about falling asleep. We finished up that part of our conversation and then we both took naps.
The woman sitting to my left was Jane. I met her at my very first chemo appointment and at the time she was a week ahead of me. We’re on the same schedule now so she actually had chemo today instead of just a blood test. Jane is an eighth grade math teacher and has continued to teach throughout chemo. We talked quite a bit about how difficult the AC treatments had been for us. When I was having those rough Tuesdays at school she was having rough Tuesdays, too, standing up in front of five classes a day full of 13 year olds, teaching math, no less! I am so impressed by her ability to do that. Jane is also very positive about this whole experience.
Jen and Jane and I discussed everything from hair loss and breast reconstruction to the discoveries of our lumps and the involvement and support of our friends and family. Talking to other cancer patients who are going through the same things that you are going through at the same time is quite powerful. People who are in the middle of this understand exactly what you feel without you even having to say a word. Jen summed it up well when she said that as much as she doesn’t like coming to the chemo appointments, she loves making all the new friends that she meets when she comes. I couldn’t agree more.
Comments
Taxotere is a more difficult treatment that dose dense AC but it is more effective.The usually give it first as part of a TAC regimen. I would be curious to hear how she's doing with it.
One more to go!Yay!
Posted by: Joel Maners | October 18, 2007 08:46 PM
Kim, I am so happy for you and your family! We all see the light at the end of the tunnel for you. Your writing is giving me the same great, thought provoking, funny, fantastic insight as it has since the beginning! Just keep writing and if you have to think about the 19,000 people looking over your shoulder, well, just imagine them ALL in their underwear! Hope you get a little laugh (and maybe a little visual). I enjoy staying connected to you via this blog!!
Posted by: Beth | October 19, 2007 07:14 AM
Woo Hoo..you did it Kim..and because you ran on "pure spirit" you were blessed to meet two kindred spirits...it's a pay-it-forward kind of deal. I smiled through your whole post...I was reminded of the warmth I felt during the chemo treatments..the wonderful people (nurses, volunteers, other survivors)..I'd read or write, I'd talk to those sitting near me and it always ended up being a "party" because everyone else would join in (I'm a bit talkative!! LOL!). We'd doze off from the meds and I always went in with the attitude of making it the best possible day. Sounds to me like I'm talking to another kindred spirit.
With one more to go...you're at the finish line. Enjoy these weeks until that day and make that day something very special to commemorate what I called "graduation day".
Posted by: sherry | October 19, 2007 07:23 AM
I'm so delighted to hear about all the friends you are making-- isn't it wonderful how some good can come out of even the worst situations?
Thinking of you, and looking forward to that wonderful final day!!
Love, as always,
xo CGF
Posted by: candygirlflies | October 19, 2007 07:57 AM
I'm so glad you have these wonderful people to talk to as you go through treatment. Sounds like you have met some really neat ones!
Posted by: PT-LawMom | October 19, 2007 09:22 AM
Hi Jen! Please knw that you and Kim and Jane are all in our thoughts and prayers.
Kim - One! One! One! {{{hugs}}}
Posted by: Ree | October 19, 2007 10:30 AM
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Posted by: Ronni | October 22, 2007 07:55 AM
Just a quick note... hope you're feeling okay...
Posted by: Proto Attorney | October 23, 2007 12:17 PM
"Jen summed it up well when she said that as much as she doesn’t like coming to the chemo appointments, she loves making all the new friends that she meets when she comes. I couldn’t agree more."
Isn't that the truth!? From the medical staff to the other patients - they're a special bunch. I hated chemo, but I sure did miss the people when it was all over.
One more to go!!!! YEA!!!
Posted by: Jenster | October 23, 2007 03:57 PM
How awesome that the patients talk where you are ... in mine, they're separated more, and there's more of a culture of just keeping to yourself. Maybe it's the TVs they have at each chair? I dunno, but I'm glad you have the company.
ONE MORE. I am so proud of you!
Posted by: WhyMommy | October 23, 2007 04:42 PM
Hey Neli,
Just a quick check in to let you know that I am tinking about you. I'm glad to hear you are nearing the end of your series of treatments. Hope you are feeling well today.
Yours,
Emile
Posted by: bkla | October 23, 2007 06:30 PM
I'm glad that you are finding support among fellow cancer patients. I wish I could say the same for BC husbands. I have found that there are very few people I can really talk to that understand the ins and outs of BC. Fortunately, there is an older man at our church who's wife has both MS and lobular BC. We got to have lunch together last week. He's a retired OB/GYN and a good friend of our surgeon's dad. In fact, he got us our first appointment. He's one of the few people I can really talk to that understands both the biology and the experience of the disease.
Posted by: Joel Maners | October 25, 2007 08:47 AM