Writer's Block
One (of many) interesting result of this blogging scholarship contest is the incredible increase in traffic to my blog. Before Monday morning, October 8th, around 8,500 people had visited since May. As of today, almost 19,000 unique visitors have stopped by from all over the world. It’s amazing. And a lot of pressure. I suddenly find that I have a serious case of writer’s block. How can I possibly write things that are interesting and smart if there are that many people waiting to read what I write?
I once saw Alice Sebold (author of The Lovely Bones) interviewed and she said that she thinks there are two kinds of writers; those who think they are geniuses and those who think everything they write is awful. I fall firmly into the second category, and this little fifteen minutes of fame I’m experiencing doesn’t help. I suppose the best thing to do is to continue to write about the things that garnered me the finalist position in the first place….breast cancer, motherhood and law school. I have to make an effort to silence the editor in my head and the thought of all of you reading over my shoulder or else I’ll never write anything again.
Tomorrow I’ll be heading to treatment #7…the second to last one. While I am happy that it’s almost over, I am also filled with dread about the upcoming weekend. I have been unconsciously pushing all thoughts of Thursday and the weekend to the back of my mind. It’s been easy not to think about since I’ve been feeling so great for the past week or so. Today, though, reality came crashing in as I realized I’d be making that old familiar trek to the doctor’s office tomorrow morning. I have found myself wishing that my doctor would call and say that I’ve been such a good patient that I don’t have to come back for the last two treatments. I know that’s not going to happen, but a girl can dream, right?
Comments
Even knowing you're almost done, I'm sure you're to the point that you've had enough!
As long as you continue to write so honestly, the quality of your posts will be just as great!
Posted by: Proto Attorney | October 17, 2007 10:36 PM
I'll be thinking of you today and sending good vibes your way.
I just finished reading The Lovely Bones. What a magnificent book!
Posted by: Alison | October 18, 2007 07:35 AM
This is the part of treatment that I found difficult. Those last few...you know the end is in sight but you wonder if you have the strength to do it. Like a marathon runner who sees the finish line but is running on pure spirit. This one, being second to last will require your effort to push on and do it. But that last one? Oh that one is soooo sweet baby!! sooooo sweet!!!!
Posted by: sherry | October 18, 2007 08:42 AM
The strength is within you, Kim. You draw from it every day. You fairly ooze it from your pores. Though you may wish for a reprieve from time to time you will still walk in to the appointment with your bald head held high, smile on your face and and a cheerful attitude for your nurses and doctors. That is strength. That is character. That is why people are reading.
Posted by: imstell | October 18, 2007 03:24 PM
Hopefully the time will fly and you'll be done really soon!
Posted by: PT-LawMom | October 18, 2007 07:21 PM