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And...That's A Wrap

Okay, okay…I hear you Gentle Readers. Thank you to those of you who have been sending me little nudges, wondering if and when I might pick up my pen (or keyboard) again. I am amazed that you are still reading, and I appreciate your tenacity and dedication. Now that I don't have any more breast cancer or law school to write about, I don’t quite know where this blog is going to go, but I’ll start with this:

In the five years since I started writing this blog, among other things, I have started law school, turned 40, been diagnosed with and fought breast cancer, won $10,000, lost all my hair, grown it all back, finished law school, gotten a job, graduated from law school, and studied for and taken the bar exam. Other than the breast cancer part, that’s pretty much how I was hoping it all would go. Tomorrow I start a brand new chapter, and this time it is much less predictable than the law school chapter was.

I am so lucky to have been offered and accepted what is essentially my dream job. I’m going to be doing exactly what I have wanted to do since the end of my first year of law school in the place I want to do it. Considering the economy and the dismal legal job market, I am very fortunate to have this job.

Almost exactly fifteen years ago I happily gave up my briefcase and heels and a career in the mortgage industry for a diaper bag and jeans and a career as a stay-at-home mom. It was my favorite career decision so far and I have loved every second of the job. Okay, maybe not every second, but I have loved a lot of them. I would not trade the time I have been able to spend with all three of my kids for anything. I think that my decision to stay home was the right one for my family and for me. However, I always knew that it would come to an end for several reasons. I knew that we would need my additional income in order send them all to college and to retire comfortably, and I also knew that there would come a time when my kids would be ready to leave and to go out on their own. I realized that when that happened, I would want something of my own, something that I enjoyed and that I could devote myself to the way I have devoted myself to them all these years. That thing turned out to be a career as an attorney, and here I am on my way.

Today is my last day as a stay-at-home mom, and I have mixed feelings about it. Of course, I am excited about my new job and about the income that comes along with it. I love the work that I will be doing. But at the same time, I am sad at the idea of leaving this era behind. I think back to the days that sometimes seemed so long that were filled with runs to and from preschool or swimming lessons or gymnastics, trying to work around naptime, shows like Gullah Gullah Island and Sesame Street, and reading the same book 10,000 times. It seems like just yesterday that I was filling up the kiddie pool in the summer or bundling little arms and legs into snowsuits to go sledding.

It is inevitable that your kids grow up and get older and that your life changes in the process, but there is something so bittersweet about leaving those days behind. I love the people my kids have turned and are turning into; I am continually amazed at how incredible they are and at how lucky I am to get to be their mom. I am always excited to see what they are going to do next. But I can’t ever quite forget the little people that they used to be, and there is a part of me that feels as if when I step out the door tomorrow morning, I will be leaving those little people behind forever.

Comments

Oh Kim! I'm so happy for you.

I'm still in Chicago, now working as an employee! (as of yesterday) and we'll be looking for a permanent home here sometime in the Spring.

Two lucky ladies, us?

Beautifully written. Made me sniffle a little bit. :) My best wishes in whatever you're heading out to do next!

I'm glad your on a healthy journey. I too have had breast cancer and a few other physical conditions alter the path of my life. I am almost a generation older, not quite, but I do have adult sons aged 32 and 29 and also a daughter that just turned 16. There has been sadness mixed with blessings. I have come to embrace the visual image of "amber" as a jewel. Trees also become stressed when they are growing. Like us their branches become arms and arms become many things. My cancer redirected my old job of "potter" lack of lymph support wouldn't allow the "wrestinling" involved. The work is very heavy. I have always been dyslexic so writing has not been easy. Reading was conquered long ago. Grammar and spelling are still in the realm of mystery. I continue to work on my "process" Having said ALL that, I realize that every bump and bruise I have ever attained have helped me in my parenting. Not always immediately evident. I also realize that had my academic ability been different (lack of dyslexia) I would have entered University at a time when the first wave of femenism was peaking. I was outside of this system, raising my sons, I was able to digest thoughts from the outside and still look in. I was able to develop my own philosopy, my own archetypes and opinions. They have not always flowed smoothy alongside those of others. Amber is a beautiful reminder that wounds and time and pressure do heal, not only do they heal, they might leave a beautiful gem that would not have developed without the convergance of all the forces that created the piece. The world needs lawyers that understand pain. We need all kinds of healers. I was fortunate to be invited to a conference in Ottawa Ontario this past winter. I met the great "Trees" that are our female lawyers. We as women must find our way to support each other. I beleive some of the "elders" from the first wave are seeing the need for changes. Keep strong and honour your "sap" I am happy that I found this post, it was quite serendipitis. My writing has actually been somewhat dictated by my 16 year old daughter. I made a promise to stop "ranting" I now do it with type! She has indeed created a monster. She is a strong girl in spirit and form. She may follow in her Aunties shoes. She is also a lawyer with an MBA.

Good Journeys!

Wow... you have had quite an adventure the last few years! I hope the next few are exciting, too. In a good way. :)

So what is your "dream job" if you don't mind my asking?

Kim,
I thank God for your healing as I continue to pray for your ongoing success in all that you set out to do! I am glad our paths crossed in the '80s and again 20 years later! May God continue to let His light shine in you and those whose lives you continue to touch! You go girl!

You're awesome and no one deserves this success as much as you do! Congrats on the job, and being done with the bar. Enjoy your last moments of unemployment! (I know I am!) :)

Welcome Back, Nellie!

FOr oh too long, we haven't heard a peep from you here on Bali Hai. So glad that good fortune has come to you and that you have returned to the page here. You have been missed - Your tales are indeed, very interesting and enlightening..

I look forward to hearing the details of this dream job and wish you good luck ( not that you need it). And its not the end of an era - its the beginning of one! :)

Have an Enchanted Evening, Counselor!

Emile...

Welcome Back, Nellie!

FOr oh too long, we haven't heard a peep from you here on Bali Hai. So glad that good fortune has come to you and that you have returned to the page here. You have been missed - Your tales are indeed, very interesting and enlightening..

I look forward to hearing the details of this dream job and wish you good luck ( not that you need it). And its not the end of an era - its the beginning of one! :)

Have an Enchanted Evening, Counselor!

Emile...

Definitely there's no regrets. Time spent to raise our kids is priceless. I hope your new times fulfill you...

sincere-lee
lizzie lee

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